Fun weekend!

It's been a great weekend! Friday nite Gill and I went to the Inside and clubbed- it was awesome. The music was awesome and we had lotsa free drinks :P Saturday Jess called me at 9:30 and woke me up!!! It was the greatest wake up call ever and I was sooo happy to hear from her! She later dropped by with Eric to say hi!!! :) I was sooo tired for the rest of the day though- I only had 3 hours of sleep and my sister and I went to Scarborough Town Centre for the air conditioning and also to return some stuff that I bought but broke. I got everything back in credit though... :S That means I'm going shopping again soon lol. By the time I got home from STC, I was soooo tired. I passed out for a couple hours and at night several of us got together and went to SEcond Cup to listen to stories about Jess' & Lali's adventure. They look so nicely tanned and happy! I wish I went on this trip :P Today I woke up and chatted with some of my favourite people online... and then went for a haircut- my hair looks SOOO much better than it did before. My now ex-hairdresser really butchered it, but now it looks slightly smoother. My sister came with and the hairdresser working on her hair was looking it had a... whoa, what did they do to your hair??! look on her face. I went to the gym with my mom, made sandwiches for tomorrow anddddd now I'm sitting here wondering what I should be doing.

This week is going to be a busy week at work- hopefully it won't be more than I can handle. Have a great week, everyone!! :)

It's almost the end of the week- whoo hoo! So excited to see my European travellers come home! I miss you all so. Life definitely has not been the same without you :)

Had a crazy week already. Monday was golf, Tuesday I saw Ali-Bear for dessert at Demetres!, Wed was Mandarin, Thurs (today) will be gym and studying day and Fri... I duno what's goin' on Friday, but Sat hopefully I'll see my girls from Europe and drop by Michelle's to see how she's doing from her gum shafting surgery :) I need to fit the gym in there somewhere too. hehhe...

So I've had stomach aches for the past week, every DAY in the morning till about 2 in the afternoon :( what a bummer. I wish it was less tempermental.

Nothi'n else is new in my life really... the only thing is... I should get my A$$ moving and start applying to jobs... or just book a plane ticket to fly far far away :)

I'm through...

I can't describe my feelings.

I've changed. I can see it now... and the person that I have become is someone that I truly like. I've never acted/done certain things before, but I am proud that I have shown resilience and strength b/c I have gotten out of that sad, unhappy shell that I've been hiding in for the past 4 months.

Obviously, Saturday night was AWESOME but it was followed up by a not so good msn conversation. I was talking to someone I truly loved, appreciated, respected and trusted... but I came out of the conversation wishing that I didn't talk to him/her at all. I have lost the love, the appreciation, the respect and the trust for this individual... I was shocked at the request that this person made. I'm so disappointed. And I'm so hurt! I've just started recovering and enjoying my life. It's been a rough journey... but I treaded on grudgingly because I thought I could not do without this individual in my life, in one aspect or another. But I learned on Saturday, that really: I CAN live without him/her and that I have given myself 175% to try to love, care and move on without him/her being that big a part of my life, but nonetheless, still BE in my life. But I have a limit too, and this is my limit. This is where I'm truly saying goodbye to caring and to wanting to be friends. If this person cared about my feelings either as a friend or an ex, they would not have asked me to do whatever the request was b/c they would realize that even ASKING was out of line. I've been lonely, sad and unhappy for the past 4 months too. But I just had some fun on Saturday night and then for whatever reason, that person got jealous and brought me WAY down. I think that the request this person made was obviously well thought thru, and... it's made me doubt the relationship that we shared. I still have a soft spot for this individual, and I don't want him/her to be sad and unhappy, but you've just lost a friend. Obviously, I didn't mean as much as you did to me... b/c if I did, you would not have made that ridiculous request. I did carry out the request though, and perhaps that person will give you their answer. I honestly and whole-heartedly wish you the best in whatever you do. Please, just let me go. I have learned more than I would ever have expected in the past 3.5 years. Some things just have to end.

Have a nice life :)

Girl's night @ LEVEL...

This weekend was the best weekend EVER. I had a lot of quality time with my friends and it made me realize how loved and cared for I am, within my circle of friends. Thursday night WAlid and I hung out and chatted and stuff... I was drunk on beer and I had the hardest time trying to sleep cuz my stomach hurt so much! I woke up for work the next day on 4 hours of sleep and was totally coherent (amazing, eh?!) I had a deadline to meet so I ran around for the 2nd half of the day. Nothing bad though :) I finished at 4 and went home to get ready for dinner with Morris! Walid came last minute too and we headed to the College Street Bar. It was a small place, but b/c we RSVP'ed we got one of the 2 tables in the "patio", which was right off the sidewalk on College! The dinner was AMAZING. I had risitto with calamari, mussles and shrimp. It was delicious!!!!!!! Walid had the same thing as I did, and Morris had a Chicken Breast Supreme! We had beer and had dessert after... it was amazing! We walked all along College to find a place to chill afterwards and ended up on another patio with Michelle, Lee and Lee's friends. I had more beer and afterwards and had a NEED for a street dog so I didn't pass out. I also had my car at Morris' so it wasn't the ideal situation. We all went in search of street meat and Walid had to hold me up while I swayeddddd... hahahaA! I was holding onto my hot dog and the next thing I know, my mustard dripped right ONTO my toe... it was the funniest thing ever and I had to be removed so I could eat on the side of the street away from everyone so I could actually have my street dog. Everyone else was too busy laughing their asses off! I passed out on the ride back and Walid had to drive my car back to my place and Morris had to come and pick Walid up afterwards to take him home. (Thanks sooooo much guys, MUAH!)

Saturday I woke up mighty early again and went to Pickering Town Centre with my fam. It wasn't what it used to be, but I still got some shirts for work so I'm okay :) We went home and I tried to go to the gym but it was closed at 6,... so I went home and cycled. Saturday night though, was GIRL'S NIGHT ! Danielle got dropped off at my place and then Gill came to get us and dropped us off at Michelle's. We pre-drank and then walked to the bus stop. We had perfect timing and got to LEVEL by 11ish. It was Lady's night, so it was even better! There were these guys at a table and they had SO MANY shot glasses it was ridiculous! They offered us their drinks (there was a birthday boy) and Gill, Danielle and MIchelle were all talking to him cuz they wanted drinks from him. I was just standing aside wondering, wtf... omg this is soooo sketchy! So I didn't really bother talking. Then this other guy in the group comes and he's like... it's okay, I'll talk to you. So we started talking and it was pretty alright. I left to get drinks and soon enough, us girls were ON THE DANCE FLOOR :D It was the CRAZIEST thing... we were being mauled I think. Every other second we had to save one of us so nobody had to dance with gross guys. The guys that bought us drinks ended up dancing with us for a bit and it was fun... hhahaa! I talked more to the guy that was conversing with me before..... he bought me a drink and stuff, and it was fun dancing with him. Us girls all cabbed home afterwards safe and sound :) but Wow... we should do this more often hahaha!

I couldn't sleep though, so I stayed up and chatted on msn. I learned a very invaluable lesson. People that u were with don't stay the same way after you go separate ways. It's hard to think of it that way and keep on being friends when there was no base for a friendship to continue forward afterwards. That person that you were with no longer exists. Period. It's funny how many ways it can still hurt after you say goodbye.

Life is such a blurrrrr... especially when u're at work on Friday morning and u just want to sleeeeeeeeep. I've had a pretty good week so far. It will get even better this weekend! I'm going to "unemployment dinner" with Morris at College Street Bar today and I'm mighty excited! We planned for this since like, March cuz we realized what bums we were even back then. I haven't been this excited for a dinner for a longgggg time. Good old Morris cheers me up once in a while :) What else? Saturday night is girl's night. I gotta find a good club to go to. It should be soooo fun and I'm NOT driving!!! :)

My favourite European travellers called me the other day! I miss you girls, and I'm soooo glad we got to talk. I totally didn't recognize Jess' voice (which is so sad cuz I used to talk to her like every other day); and her clue wasn't that helpful: she said, "it's ur Greek friend"... I'm like, what Greek friend?! lol. In other news too, Momo msged me on msn and said he arrived in Jordan. I think Sam should be IN Singapore today... thank goodness you guys are safe and sound. Lots of love to you both, and try to contact me one way or another...

Good news all 'round... have a good weekend, everybody.

MO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know Sam left for Syria- I just checked the blog now. PLEASE CALL me whenever you hear news and tell me the details, OKAY??? PROMISE ME. YOU also have to tell me how YOU are doing, OKAY??? When are you LEAVING?????????????????????

SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUNNY you are soooo strong- please please please be soooo safe and CALL JULES when you get a chance, OKAY??? I need to know you're okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss the peace.

In the past couple of days, I've been scared shitless for some of my friends. Some of them whom I hold very dear to my heart. I realized many things during this time... and I hope that many of you will realize this sooner or later.

We are all human beings. It's that simple. We all want to live, to survive, to thrive... Life is invaluable... there is no dollar sign that can tell you how much you are worth. Whether you hurt them or they hurt you, it's still a human life that is being hurt, or worst yet, being extinguished. It's still an invaluable life force that is being lost for whatever cause- either worthy or not. We NEED to learn and CARE and ACCEPT others and their beliefs and values because we are

all citizens of the WORLD.

We breathe the same air, we have the same basic needs... let's start with ourselves and do something to save the brothers and sisters that we are condeming to doom and destruction because we do not share their beliefs and values. Think of your enemies as you do of your friends. They are HUMANS.

The world is full of wrongs. There's a cause and a consequence. Most of the time, sparks are caused by things that we know of... but most of the other times, they are not transparent to us and we endlessly search for answers that we would never unveil. I know this sounds stupid... but I don't want to know who is the one that committed the wrong. I am not the one to decide. When we all die and see our respective gods, they will be the ones to judge. But I will say that yes, it is easy to pick a side to stand upon, but I would rather find a solution rather than find the faults. I miss the peace. Did you realize that the world, ever since World War II, has only had 26 consecutive days of peace? What does this SAY TO YOU?

Live your life with no regrets. I've seen many of my parent's friends in the last while and I can truthfully say that there are huge differences between the aging of different ethnic groups. I've seen the positives of aging in one group and the negatives in the other. I want to tell you all, that living in Canada, I was lucky enough to see both sides and decide which way to age. I truly believe that aging gracefully IS a path that everyone should at least try to tread. Aging doesn't mean that you have to get all saggy, get all ugly and sit in your rocking chair. But what aging means, is acting your age when it's your time. Why get face lifts and liposuction when you're 65? Everyone is entitled to looking good- but how about looking after your MENTAL well-being instead of the PHYSICAL faux well-being? If having something done physically makes you feel better, does that not represent how shallow you are as an individual? My second point under this life lesson: live with no worries. Being bitter and worrying about everything that your kids have done/should do and comparing them with someone else's kids is not going to do you any good. You have a responsibility to bring them up right, but it's also their responsibility to teach themselves certain things. Some people you can't help. Others you can. Be thankful that you're making impact on someone. It doesn't have to be your kid (obviously it would be nice) but maybe someone else will help your kid along their path. My friend's parents are all aging. It's sad to see them disintegrate into unhappy individuals that make the younger generation feel like their traditions and beliefs are not valid b/c of the way they convey themselves in front of them. Even if life sucks, tread on happily. If you're not happy now, who says you will be later? Third of all: Be happy with what you HAVE. Who the hell cares about what you didn't have? Will they talk about that at your funeral? Why are people always so unhappy and point out the things that they wish they had/things they could have had? Learn to be content. Otherwise, sit tight and watch the world cave in around you. Fourth of all: not every situation or incident has to become a life lesson. Not everything that happens in your daily life has to be picked at and analyzed to the point where you find a lesson to lecture others upon. It's weird how I'm writing this and I'm the one putting my 2 cents out... but think about it.

SAM & MO...

I NEED YOU TO CALL ME. I've texted and called and I think your telephone network is down. Contact the Canadian Embassy- they are sending ships!!!

CALL 613 996 8885 OR 961 771-3900.

My SF friends in Lebanon- I cannot say how heart-wretching it has been, watching the news for the past 24 hours and listening to what's going on over there. I miss you all, I wish and PRAY that you are all VERY VERY safe.

Sam hunny, I know you are supposed to leave in a day or so... I don't know how you are doing emotionally, but I cannot get a hold of you guys... I tried Momo's cell a couple times and it's not working... but if you get a chance to check THIS, I want you to know that I am thinking of you, and that I want to know how you're getting out of the country. Please take good care of YOU... be STRONG, okay??

Momo- I love you too... be safe.

REMAKE of James Blunt's song: You're beautiful. Sing it to the tune... and if you can't, I'll SEND you the mp3. I thought I'd share this with all of you... b/c it describes my life perfectly. Enjoy... (at my expense)...


My Cubicle

My job is stupid
My day's a bore
Inside this office
From 8 to 4
Nothing ever happens
My life is pretty blank
Pretending that I'm working
Pray I don't get canned

My cubicle,
My cubicle,
It's one of 62...
It's my small space in a crowded place
Just a 6 by 6
And I hate it, that's the truth

As the boss walks by
No one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye
I really should work, but instead I sit here and surf the Inn-ternet

In...
My cubicle, my cubicle...
It doesn't have a view
It's my small space
In a crowded place
I sit inside there too,
And sometimes I sit here nude... (ok this is not me lol)

Anyways: nothing new in my life. Went to Scarborough Town today, bought a bikini and a shirt in the 40 mins I was there for. Went to Mandarin class, came home, went out again for a late dinner and now I'm sitting here, finally settled after a longgg day at work. I really honestly didn't do much today. When I say this, I really do mean it. Tomorrow is pay day- so that means Pay Day Lunch with the other summer students :) Life is ... good?

Wonderful weekend...

Had a great weekend! I went to the Ward's Island Beach with Morris, Dani & Eric. The weather was gorgeous and it was just amazing. We took the ferry from the Centre Island dock (Ward's Island is right next to Centre Island), and it was really fun! We found the small beach, and just settled down with our food/books/cards. We got some food at the store at the front of the island and just sat in the sun. I passed out while tanning for short periods of time while everyone else played cards. It was not as gorgeous as Grand Bend, but no worries- I'm busing to Waterloo this weekend to see Lilly and we're going to Grand Bend together! :) I'm soooo excited. I love Lilly :) Maybe I can even drag Ali out if he ever answers his phone! :@

Sunday I slept in... and then went to a family friend gathering after cleaning my room. It was a pain. Involved old people singing and um... well, everyone I grew up with avoided it. They made plans and had other excuses. My sister, the host's son and I were the only "kids". It was a painful 4 hours.

My ladies in Europe, I'm really good- thanks for the emails! Jess, I'm doing okay!!! Lali, when you were texting me, I was on the beach ! I LOVE you guys, see you soon. When are you coming back home??

MOMO & SAM: You guyssss! I was waiting for you guys to callll meee :P It's okay though, I forgive u. lol. Lots of love to you two :)

James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.