I'm through...

I can't describe my feelings.

I've changed. I can see it now... and the person that I have become is someone that I truly like. I've never acted/done certain things before, but I am proud that I have shown resilience and strength b/c I have gotten out of that sad, unhappy shell that I've been hiding in for the past 4 months.

Obviously, Saturday night was AWESOME but it was followed up by a not so good msn conversation. I was talking to someone I truly loved, appreciated, respected and trusted... but I came out of the conversation wishing that I didn't talk to him/her at all. I have lost the love, the appreciation, the respect and the trust for this individual... I was shocked at the request that this person made. I'm so disappointed. And I'm so hurt! I've just started recovering and enjoying my life. It's been a rough journey... but I treaded on grudgingly because I thought I could not do without this individual in my life, in one aspect or another. But I learned on Saturday, that really: I CAN live without him/her and that I have given myself 175% to try to love, care and move on without him/her being that big a part of my life, but nonetheless, still BE in my life. But I have a limit too, and this is my limit. This is where I'm truly saying goodbye to caring and to wanting to be friends. If this person cared about my feelings either as a friend or an ex, they would not have asked me to do whatever the request was b/c they would realize that even ASKING was out of line. I've been lonely, sad and unhappy for the past 4 months too. But I just had some fun on Saturday night and then for whatever reason, that person got jealous and brought me WAY down. I think that the request this person made was obviously well thought thru, and... it's made me doubt the relationship that we shared. I still have a soft spot for this individual, and I don't want him/her to be sad and unhappy, but you've just lost a friend. Obviously, I didn't mean as much as you did to me... b/c if I did, you would not have made that ridiculous request. I did carry out the request though, and perhaps that person will give you their answer. I honestly and whole-heartedly wish you the best in whatever you do. Please, just let me go. I have learned more than I would ever have expected in the past 3.5 years. Some things just have to end.

Have a nice life :)