It's weird... just a few weeks ago I really didn't mind feeling the way I feel right now. I was happy with whatever... now that I've experienced the things that I have in Cuba, at work... I feel like life is more than this. It's more than just working the 9-5, seeing friends here and there, working out and studying. A spark is missing.

In times like this, I think about the good, the bad and remember things the way they were. It gives me that bitter-sweet feeling. I mean, if I didn't know it existed would I miss it ?

I look at my friends around me... one by one they're finding people to be with. My girl friends are all in long relationships, they're pretty happy. I am always so happy for others but then my own happiness is rarely something I bother thinking about. It's so hard to be looking and not looking at the same time. It's like wanting to enjoy the scenery of single life but then you want to be looking at the same time so you don't miss anything with relationship potential. I'm so tired of giving someone a chance (though it really is giving yourself a chance as well)... b/c it never works out.